Rachel's Table

Let’s Play Peppermeister Roulette

When playing Truth or Dare as a precocious middle schooler, I would ALWAYS take the dare. With gusto.

Things haven’t changed…

(Disclaimer: yes, my husband videographer filmed this vertically instead of horizontally. I’m taking applications for a new husband,  any iPhone user, videographer until 8 pm (EST). A steady hand and ability to edit all content down to a more acceptable two minutes are a must.)


Next week, I’ll knock your ‘stache glasses off with recipes using Peppermeister’s homegrown peppers.

Peppermeister, can you tell me the names of these peppers? I dare you to send me something HOTTER!


  1. Rache!!! I am crying, too, with tears of laughter. I swear on half and half I am laughing WITH you. This was incredible. I wish I was there. I would have NEVER done this, and now I’m worried Peppermeister is going to realize the type of woman he should be after. I’m sure he’d be glad to film your next vlog from any angle. I can’t believe he might not be able to watch this until he gets home.

    Okay. I’m totally watching this again right now.

    P.S. – Was that yogurt local?

      • I’m nerdily curious which peppers I chose and how hot they are on the “hotness scale.” I think Peppermeister should take a half-day just to field comments and questions. I mean, come ON, what could be more important than THIS?

    • Oh, Jules, you know that yogurt was local! So was the half and half. I had to cut a poignant scene where I explain the half and half. It was sad, but I couldn’t subject my readers to over seven minutes of me just eating peppers.

      Thank you for the vlogging inspiration! I wish my speaking voice was as lovely as yours. I’m going to start working on my articulation, Henry Higgins style.

    • Oh my Gawwwd! I love this so very much. I hope you get Pressed for it. This is so off the charts, Rache. Nothing like half-and-half or yogurt to cool a pepper throat.

      The hottest pepper I EVER ate was in Australia at an Egyptian restaurant. I have no idea what it was, but I “nibbled” from the bottom up with each bite of falafel I took. Lots and LOTS of yogurt. My Aussie friend didn’t think I would make it through, but she didn’t know I used to eat my grandfathers habaneros and piquins right off the bush. Even those didn’t prepare me for the pain…

      I only just learned about a year back how to buy a really hot jalapeno (I make pico de gallo daily). Look for the ones with the “stretch marks.” That’s as hot as I go anymore, because my kids also have eat it!!

      Great, great post. I don’t normally follow comments, but I’m clicking that box now. I want to see where this goes…

      • I didn’t know that about the stretch marks. I’ll have to make some salsa tonight with my stretch marked peppers. I’ll keep the yogurt handy, of course.

        You are a pepper eating bad a$$. I’m sure the peppers I randomly chose weren’t even the hottest ones in Peppermeister’s collection. I can’t wait to see what he thinks of this whole deal. 🙂

      • My grandfather (an old gardener) used to cross-pollinate varieties in his garden to see how hot (and sweet?) a pepper could actually get. He’d use me as a guinea pig ’cause I’m a little dumb that way.

        Me? Only sweet bells in my garden. My jalapeno plant failed, but I’ll try again next year.

      • ALL the peppers planted by two experienced gardeners in my neck of the woods failed. We had weird pepper weather, I guess, or maybe no one knows as much as Peppermeister.

      • You know? None of my peppers made it last year either. ZERO. But six, neglected, otherwise un-watered (we occasionally empty potty pee into the mulch), haphazardly propped up, fully-fruited pepper plants have been rewarding me this year. I’ve been picking from them for three solid months now. Go figure.

        Love those peppers. Still love this post! *shouting* Come ON WordPress people! Give this girl her day!

    • Another thing and I’ll go away. Promise. My husband used to film video vertically. He couldn’t understand why it turned out sideways when we watched it on the TV. OH, the delights of explaining film physics to my uber-smart Mensan husband. He doesn’t do it anymore. LOL

      Great filming, Mr. Rachel. I thought the vertical was the way to go, personally!

      • I think it’s a fatal flaw with the iPhone that you can’t film that way. It’s easier to hold the phone vertically,which is exactly why the husband filmed that way. (He’s still using a droid from 2008, so what did I expect?)

        Mr. Rachel will be pleased to hear your encouraging words. Maybe I’ll give him one more chance.

    • I won with 3 points to his measly 2. I am the master of Peppermeister Roulette.

      P.S. I wish there was a finale; I believe that’s this vlogs ONLY flaw–lack of a clear ending. At least the Red Hot Chili Peppers made a vocal appearance.

  2. This Was Awesome. It felt a bit like the end of Blair Witch Project in some sense, where you’re narrating your own demise (although your husband is a better videographer and I can’t tell here if your nose is running). Yikes!

    I agree with Shannon that this needs Freshly Pressed, even if they don’t feature vlogs (not sure if I’ve seen one up before). I disagree with you though…your presentation skills were top notch! And are you a dead ringer for Kate Middleton or what?!

    I’ll tell you who is not a dead ringer for Kate Middleton — that awkward crimp-haired girl shown in the photo in your kitchen. My apologies if you’re related.

    Peppermeister, I raise my glass of Tang to you and the peppers.

    • Nnng et al (wow, doesn’t it look like I just had a stroke at the keyboard??) –

      I HAVE seen a vlog get Freshly Pressed, which leads me to believe Rache (and Nnng’s crimped hair) are up next.

      • Is this your nickname for Angie? Nnng? How does one pronounce that?

        I said it before and I’ll say it again, you are all too kind about this post being Freshly Pressable. It’s nice to have blogging friends that believe in me! (And derive joy from my obvious pain.)

    • These Freshly Pressed comments are going straight to my head.

      And Kate Middleton? Princess Kate? I feel so regal! Thanks! I’m not sure I’d look as good as she does in a weird hat, though.

      At certain points I felt like I was in a horror film. But I took out the scariest parts–where I stood over the sink and blew my nose while spitting.

      That adorable girl with crimped hair is my cool best friend. We like to drink Tang together while talking about John Cusack.

  3. All I can say is WOW. Never have I been so captivated by a vertically shot video. I predict that it is soon to go viral. Months of preparation went into this production (I started the seeds in March). Watching my peppers make you tear up was filling me with an amount of pride that I imagine parents feel when their children make other children cry.

    So about the peppers, the first one you bit into is called Aji Crystal (pronounced “ah-hee”). It is one of my favorites, Citrus-like and back of the throat burn, it’s way too hot for most people.
    The second is Mini Chocolate Bell. It is a sweet pepper and I agree that it is ideal for stuffing, haven’t tried pickling that one yet but now I may have to stuff it, then pickle it just to prove I can.
    The next is Beni Highlands. It’s from Bolivia and I use it to make an amazing mango hot sauce.
    The next is Cherry Bomb, which is a hot cherry pepper, very tasty and very hot.
    The last is Czechoslovakian Black, I got it from a white guy in Hungary. I use them to make paprika and they are great in salsa.

    Also… in an effort to plunder your thunder, I must inform you that the bottom tip of any pepper is the least hot section. That being said, at 2:58 you experienced true pepper glory. Also why the Cherry bomb got you, it has no end, it’s all heat.
    Great job, seriously. Those are way hotter than the vast majority of people could handle biting into. You’ve got serious pepper prowess. You now qualify for my pork tacos.

    • The illusive Peppermeister makes his glorious appearance!

      A few thoughts…

      “when their children make other children cry” haha!

      You make your own paprika AND hot sauce? This local girl needs to know how to do these things.

      Way to steal my glory. (And so many “just the tip” jokes going through my head right now, so thanks for that.) BUT I am also honored that you said “Great job.” I will take the pork tacos, but I want them hand delivered. By Jules.

      Honestly, I don’t remember much of anything after 2:58 and we had to cut the part where I was spitting into the sink and coughing. That Cherry Bomb was the worst. But it hurt so good! I think I’m addicted to Peppermeister Roulette.

      What do you think Jules would do if I challenged her to a game of Peppermeister Roulette?

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  5. I live with a pepper junkie. We currently have a front porch covered in potted Butch T Trinidad Scorpion plants (the world’s 2nd hottest pepper) that we started from seed. My back garden is covered in habaneros, jalapenos, and hungarian hot wax peppers. I’ve posted hot sauces that made me cry and one that seriously required a gas mask to prepare. We watched this video together… loved every sideways minute. Thanks!

    • I believe the gas mask part! Crazy! I used a jalapeno for something the other day (which isn’t even that hot) and I could not get the residue off my fingers. It ended up in my eyes.

      Glad you liked the video! 🙂

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