This is a food blog, right?
You are correct, but since it’s also RACHEL’S table, sometimes I get to veer off topic a bit.
Today is one of those days. A few months ago I submitted a piece to the blog Rage Against the Minivan for the series “What I Want You to Know.” The author–funny and delightful Kristen–posted it yesterday.
The subject matter is deeply personal to me; I even hesitated telling you about it. But here I am over-sharing as usual.
So pull up a chair at my table, and let’s have a chat. I’ll grab the coffee while you take a look at my post, “What I Want You to Know About Having a Baby.”
If you take the time to read it, feel free to leave me a comment over there or right here.
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Hi Rachel,
I came over from rage against the minivan. I appreciate everything that you said…everything. I believe that God puts His desires in our heart and that those desires you have are there for a reason. After 3 miscarriages, failed meds with the fertility doctors and a simple prayer, we now have 2 bio kids and 3 adopted kids. I’ll never forget being able to be real about it all to God…and I still feel that way even now.
~Sarah
Being “real” about it with God and everyone else is the first step to really making a concrete decision about starting a family, I think. Now that it’s out there, I feel more freedom to really pursue adoption, which is something that’s been on my heart for a long time now. I’m excited to see what the future holds! Thanks so much for stopping by, Sarah!
Hey, Rachel, I just tried to comment over there, hope you see it. Such a well-written post, thanks for sharing it with us!
I did see it, Darla! Thanks so much! I appreciate your thoughtful words and sharing a bit of your story with me, too! Gives me hope for a future family. 🙂
Rachel,
Thanks for sharing. It is always beautiful to me how different each of our stories are. My hubs and I were talking the other day about how different child bearing is now with easy birth control. I’m certainly glad to have it but sometimes the ability to choose when (or if) to start a family is overwhelming. One thing I can say is that God will use your vulnerability for his good, whether that is as a mom or not.
Thanks, Chelsea! I’ve never had a problem being honest, but it IS weird to put it out there for everyone to see. I’m glad you stopped by. 🙂
Bloody oversharers.
I see you are feeling very sensitive today.
Do you remember the scene from Monty Python’s Life of Brian where the ex-leper is complaining that it’s hard to earn a living as a beggar anymore since Jesus cured him of his leprosy? “Bloody do-gooder,” he says. LOL
Haven’t seen Monty Python in so long, but my college roommates and I used to act out The Holy Grail. We were so cool.
Read it. Loved it.
I had my kids pretty young, so I’m exactly the opposite. BUT! I was in a baaaad situation so I “fixed” part of it by getting fixed. And 10 years later life is good & I want another baby. What to do what to do.
Anyway… I think it’s different for everyone and I think it’s great that you’re so grounded about it.
Also— you look like you’re 20.
So much changes in ten years, right??? In one year even. I believe the changes are the reason I now want to have kids. It’s amazing how being with the right person can make you feel about procreating. 🙂
I am far from 20, sadly. But happy to be where I am nonetheless!
Thanks, Heather!
First, thank you for such an honest posting about parenthood. That is very brave! It took me 11 years to have my daughter and I was 34 when she was born. Totally worth it–wish I could have had more, but I’m thankful for her every day (even when she talks about getting her tongue pierced). But parenthood is about a unique and precious relationship with a person. Being a mother (or father) is not dependent on birthing a child, it is about what happens next. So good luck, keep the faith and be open to the parenting opportunities the universe brings to you!
I think the most important thing I’ve learned is that I want that parent relationship–whether by child birth or adoption. I believe either one will be just as meaningful, because like you said it’s about “a unique and precious relationship.”
Thanks so much for the encouragement, Deanna! (And good luck with the tongue piercing. ha!)
Lol! Well, we weathered the blue hair ok 🙂 All part of the experience!
Rachel, you spoke of the “grief” of infertility… I have a 25 year old daughter. When I was about 38, I felt that I wanted another child. I’d met someone and it was all rosey and our kid would be gorgeous, blah blah. Medically, it is ill-advised for me to have children. Possibly impossible to even carry to term. I couldn’t help feeling like that could all be overcome and it would work out if I really wanted it enough. I didn’t want to admit “defeat”. Then I turned 41, and I swear I heard the window slam shut forever. Just knowing that there is now ZERO possibility was a great loss. Grief is the perfect word to describe it. Best wishes, Rachel. May you have what is right for you when it is right. 🙂
Thank you for sharing your story here. I’m so surprised by this “grief” I feel at times. It’s a really surreal experience. But adoption is a possibility and I’m looking into that now.
Best wishes to you as well!
Really appreciate your honesty. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for stopping by, Kaset. 🙂
A brave, beautiful post.
Thank you, Kylie!
What a great piece. I left a long comment over there but it disappeared when I posted it. I think/hope it’s just “awaiting moderation.”
Thanks, Angie. I checked over there, but didn’t see it. I hope it shows up soon! Especially since it was a long one. I’ve been so encouraged by my fellow bloggers’ comments and story sharing. I felt like writing the post freed me up to move on–own my emotions and take the next step to starting a family in a more unconventional way. Thanks for reading!
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