Dear New Jersey,
You are known for a lot of things. Mostly bad things like pollution and high property taxes. And even worse things like Jersey Shore, The Situation and Snooki.
So you can imagine my very low expectations when I visited the Jersey shore this weekend. Not THAT Jersey Shore–Wildwood Crest. While I was packing for your beaches a montage of spray tans, fist pumping, and purple running board lights crashed through my head. I wondered if I should buy extra hair products and some brass knuckles.
As my friend and I headed south, I was struck by the farm land and produce stands dotting the road. I even saw a sheep farm. I started to regret packing four pairs of bedazzled sunglasses.
Much to my surprise, the Jersey shore was delightful, picturesque even.
After a pleasant weekend on the sand and an evening on the boardwalk, I drove home, anticipating a produce stand stop. My anticipation was not in vain; I never knew that only a mere 20 miles from my house, a wonderland of locally grown goodness existed.
So, New Jersey, I would like to apologize for my low expectations and negative thinking (I blame it on MTV a little though). You are much more than Snooki’s bangs.
In fact, I would like to propose a new montage–one that replaces bikinis and trash talk with finer things like Sicilian eggplant and fresh-picked corn.
Who knew, Jersey? Forgive me for misunderstanding the complexities of your diverse culture.
Yours in mutual fresh-picked produce love,
P.S. – The final season of Jersey Shore airs in October. I’m sure you’re relieved, just like the rest of us.